The Fightbook

NEW NAME, NEW LOCATION!

2008-04-17T15:40:00.004-05:00

My blog has moved!

You know how I've been saying I wanted to update the look of this blog? Well, I found a template over at wordpress that I actually really like. I still want to tweak it, but for now, it's okay. It's a little bit of a hassle... Google has an excellent back end, and I like that you can edit the template and you have unlimited storage space. But at wordpress you can have multiple pages. So I'm at least going to try it over there for a little while.

I'll probably still keep this one around, in case I decide I don't like wordpress. So don't delete this bookmark yet.

Check out the new location here: NO MORE DARKNESS

THEY FOUND MY PHONE!

2008-04-17T10:51:00.001-05:00

YAAAAAAAAY!

If I can find a red Gi...

2008-04-16T15:19:00.003-05:00

...I am SO dressing up like this guy. I don't know why Ken always takes a back seat to Ryu. He's way cooler. Sure, shooting fireballs is way more practical, but a dragon punch looks ten billion times more fierce. Plus red is way more intimidating. I mean, come on.

Dreams & Reality

2008-04-16T11:39:00.006-05:00

A while ago my mom bought me the movie Enchanted, and I finally watched last night right before I went to bed. And then I had a whole bunch of really weird dreams.

I don't actually remember most of them. I know at one point I was trying to stop an alien army from taking over a train. They had these weird bug things that would poke you with a stinger and it would cause your DNA to merge with theirs. Weird.

One of the dreams I had that was actually normal involved me meeting generic blonde dream girl and rescuing her from her jerk boyfriend. Basically she had this guy she had been dating for a year or something, and he was treating her like dirt, and then she and I met, and we got married literally two days later. I think the dream even involved me taking a phone call from her ex boyfriend, and I think I said something like, "I hope your eyeballs get ripped out by wolverines."

Ah, the insults your brain comes up with while you're sleeping.

What's really funny about that dream though is that is not quite exactly but still amusingly similar to the way my grandparents got married. I've never actually heard the detailed story, but apparently there was this guy who really liked my grandmother. She was kind of dating him on and off, and then he went on a business trip or got sent to war or something, and when he got back - oops! Grandma was married.

I don't think he was a jerk guy, though. She always talks about him like he was sweet, but she wasn't in love with him. And when she met my grandpa, it was like ZIM BOOM! WOW!

So it's kind of fun that I had a dream like that.

People are so retarded.

2008-04-15T18:28:00.003-05:00

So I found out something unpleasant today. I had this great idea that maybe I'd see if there was a website or something that could do a GPS location trace of my phone. So of course I googled it, like anyone would. It turns out there are a whole bunch of *fake* cell phone location websites that are actually porn sites.

I don't know why people have to be such idiots, you know? I mean, if you want to throw porn around on the internet, which is already stupid, just label it PORN. Quit trying to be such a hotshot idiot by disguising it as something else. We don't want to see that crap.

iPhone = Missing

2008-04-15T09:41:00.002-05:00

Just fyi for those who would have a reason to call, my iPhone is MIA. I can't find it anywhere. I'm checking at some lost and founds of places I was a few days ago, but it's been three days...

Uuuugh...

WoooohooooHooooo

2008-04-14T15:31:00.002-05:00

The Pirate Party was a couple of nights ago, and it was really fun. It was really long, so I'm not going to go into details. Like any event, it had it's high points and low points, but overall it was spectacularly produced, there was awesome music, the people dressed up really well, and there were a lot of fun events. We got attacked at sea by another pirate ship (that was planned). We also (thankfully) avoided conflict with a mythical frat party boat (that was not planned, but awesome after the fact). We hunted for dubloons on an island and we had some great food made by an amazing chef.

Yo ho!

This is AWESOME!

2008-04-13T20:49:00.002-05:00

This guy has some TALENT. He makes his own action figures! My favorites are the Star Wars ones. This is C-3PO - in Steam Punk. Unbelievable!

Wait... This Guy's Dating Natalie Portman?

2008-04-13T18:19:00.003-05:00

...when I listen to his music, I can see it.

His name is Devendra Banhart, and he's really famous, and like most really famous people, it took me forever to find out about him. I owe this musical discovery to Brady. Thanks, man.

It's really, really, really good music. Really really really. Three reallys. Repeated, so it's like six of them, plus the one after that.

I guess he and Natalie Portman make sense... especially if you see him without his beard, like in this video.

He should have come to the Pirate Party.

BONNIE PRINCE BILLY

2008-04-11T10:29:00.002-05:00

The guy's a musical genius.

I CAN DO THAT!!!

2008-04-10T19:17:00.003-05:00

I was searching for jobs today on craigslist and came across this. Turns out it's only a job for someone to type what someone else says. That's really too bad, because I'd make an AWESOME tyrant.

Am I vain? INCREDIBLY.

2008-04-10T18:37:00.005-05:00

Some of you might know I'm going to a pirate party this weekend. Here's a preview. I have a lot of my costume together - pants, boots, jewelry, and bandana. And my sister-in-law, Anna, is going to do my makeup, which will be awesome. Unless it runs - we're on a boat, hmm, didn't think about that until just now...

Anyway, I still need a good shirt, and a belt/sash thing. And some sweet rings that make me look like I relieved some fine rich woman of her burdensome trinkets. And tattoos. I'm going open-shirted, and I'm NOT shaving my chest hair, but if I could find someone who could draw a really good schooner on my chest really huge, I would do it.

Anybody know where I can find a good piratey shirt? Kind of a froofy one? Maybe along the lines of Errol Flynn?

You guys HAVE to CHECK THIS OUT!!!

2008-04-06T22:19:00.003-05:00

I love Bjork. I love her album Post. If you love Bjork, and if you love Post, you have GOT to go to this link and listen to this music! It's awesome. Not only that, but the cover art is done by my all time design and music hero, Scott Hansen!!! AAAAAH!! :)

BJORK TRIBUTE

PS, they have a Radiohead OK Computer tribute, too! AAAAAAH! The cover of Airbag is SO AWESOME!

Space. The Most Awesome Frontier.

2008-04-06T16:03:00.004-05:00

One of my favorite artists ever is Frank Frazetta. He just got it, you know? This sense of magic and adventure and awesomeness that's hard to come by in paintings these days.

I have no idea what story this illustration is from, but I wish space was really like this. Space tigers and beautiful maidens and muscled dudes with swords. This painting makes me feel like I could walk outside, jump onto the back of a giant space eagle, and soar into the stars.

So cool.

Olive!

2008-04-04T01:09:00.002-05:00

I started doing some minor Photoshop work for a dog product company called Olive. They actually sell some really cool stuff, and my contact person for the job is really nice. If you have a dog, and you're eco-conscious, check it out!

OLIVE GREEN DOG

LEGEND OF ZELDA: Dream Cast

2008-04-03T13:24:00.006-05:00

If I were making a Legend of Zelda movie, this would be my dream cast. Man, it would be SUCH a sweet movie. COME ON!

Viggo Mortensen as GANON.

Sarah Roemer as PRINCESS ZELDA.

Joe Anderson as LINK.

Hilarious Story Idea

2008-04-03T09:14:00.003-05:00

This is inspired by a recent picture Stephen posted over on Mix Tape.

So I was thinking, what if instead of a dog, you had a pet floating head that followed you around everywhere? It talked and had a personality and everything - it just didn't have a body. What if everybody had one? Wouldn't that be weird?

Zelda? You're wearing that same dress AGAIN?

2008-04-03T01:25:00.005-05:00

Man, how come every time someone takes a look at a video game and recognizes the potential for a movie, they go and make it SUCK? Street Fighter, Silent Hill, Hitman - I mean, COME ON! Can't at least ONE of you directors get it right?

Complaints about this trailer:

1. Link looks like a total idiot. And he looks 50 years old.
2. Ganon is a complete push over. And he looks fake.
3. Why is Zelda talking in a British accent when nobody else in Hyrule is? What about that Scottish guy?
4. Is the priest retarded? Why is he talking like that? Why is the camera so close to his face?
5. How come everybody's costumes look like bad cosplay?

On the other hand:

1. The monsters look cool.
2. The desert crossing scene looks awesome.
3. The final shot of the Master Sword is perfect.

But my BIGGEST complaint:

WHERE IS THE ORIGINAL STORYLINE?!?

If you've ever played a Zelda, you know that the stories really suck. Even the new ones. They all follow a ridiculous formula that was invented back in the 8 bit days. Sure, there might be some variation, but honestly there is no originality to Zelda anymore. Every single one is "Ganon kidnaps Zelda. Link finds a sword. Link travels to dungeon, finds item, slays monster, repeat. After monster genocide, Link confronts Ganon, usually with some sort of sword of light or something. Link wins. Hyrule is saved."

You want a good idea for a Zelda movie? Something that uses the same characters but in a more compelling way? Okay, how about this:

Link is a young boy in Kakariko village whose family is poor and hungry. Link resents his poor situation, so when an expedition led by Ganondorf comes through his village, he joins up with them. He idolizes Ganon, who begrudgingly takes the boy on as his squire. During several years of wandering, Link learns to ride and fight and use a bow. He also starts to sense hints of greed and cruelty in Ganon as they search for a mythical treasure: The Triforce. As they get closer to their goal, Link's emotions are in conflict. He wants the promised power of the Triforce that Ganon speaks so hungrily about, but he also sees the madness growing in his master and is afraid of what could happen if they find the immortal relic.

Ganon, Link, and the rest of the crew finally come to the land of Hyrule, where the Triforce was supposedly bestowed upon humanity by the gods. Quite by accident they discover that the Triforce does exist, and that it's hidden in a secret chamber deep below the earth that can only be accessed by a magical portal within Hyrule Castle. Princess Zelda's bloodline is the key to opening the portal, so late at night Ganon's crew steals into the castle and kidnaps the princess. They lead her to the portal room and force her to grant them access to the Triforce chamber.

When they enter the chamber, Ganon's goal is finally within reach. He offhandedly orders his men to kill the princess and starts walking through the grand hall towards the Triforce. Link, taken with the princess's beauty and alarmed at the sudden feeling of wrongness he has about the situation, pleas with the men to let the princess go, but they are blinded by lust for power. Link battles his own crew, slaying some, and then with the princess in tow runs after Ganon to try and stop him. They reach the Triforce moments too late as Ganon screams, "GIVE ME POWER!!" In desperation Link hurls his sword at Ganondorf; it pierces him through and pins him to the Triforce. Rage and magical strength flow over Ganon and in the same instant the Triforce explodes. Link and Zelda see Ganon transform into a maniacal beast before disappearing. Then they are hit with waves of magical energy from the Triforce shards.

To each is granted their hearts greatest desire. Zelda longed for wisdom to lead her people, so she is given supernatural insight. She cannot see the future, but she can know anything that's happening in the present.

In the moment he met Zelda, Link's greatest desire was for the courage to protect her and to do the right thing. He is granted a changing power that manifests itself throughout the rest of the story. He is able to do things that are just beyond the abilities of any ordinary man. He also gains strength as his determination increases, and can channel that power into magical energy through his sword or any other item he has in his possession.

Through her power, Zelda tells Link that Ganon has transported himself to the surface and is running rampant. He is blind with rage but his mind is returning to him, and soon he will be unstoppable. Together Link and Zelda run back to the chamber portal to find some way of defeating Ganon before everything they love is destroyed.

And the story continues from there.

Now, I'm no Brandon Sanderson or Robert Jordan. But surely that is better than "Dungeon, Item, Fight, Repeat," right?

Zelda Post PS

2008-04-03T01:25:00.004-05:00

Okay so I really need to work on not being so critical. I just wrote this whole big long thing about this Zelda movie coming out and I was really harsh. So maybe my points were valid - I still need to calm down. Jes' Caaaaaawm Down!

If you have RSS or whatever you can probably still read the Zelda post. I'm not sure how that all works.

New Apartment

2008-04-01T16:37:00.005-05:00

These are some iPhone shots of my new apartment. It's in the works, but it's coming along nicely. I'm not really a fan of the way the blue couch looks, but it's comfortable enough, and the price was right. I think once I get some more eclectic things in here it will all sort of mesh somehow.

Yay, my brother has a blog now!

2008-04-01T15:54:00.002-05:00

My brother, John, recently started a blog. Check it out!

JOHN'S BLOG

Legendary Kung Fu Battle

2008-04-01T00:18:00.008-05:00

My sister-in-law asked me recently who would win in a fight between Jackie Chan, Bruce Lee, and Jet Li. Also, Russ (kingpin) just posted a satire blog about Jackie Chan, so I figured I'd take this on. It's a hard one, since I'm pretty sure Jackie and Jet both derived a lot of things from Bruce Lee, but I think we can still work out a winner.

First we assume optimal conditions for a fair fight. All three are alive and all three are the same age, and all three have had the same amount of training relative to their individual styles. No weapons allowed. Battlefield is mixed terrain, partly open space, partly tight enclosed areas. For kicks and awesomeness, we'll pick an industrial glass factory.

Now we break it down by style. Bruce is wicked fast, strong, and relies mostly on punches and kicks. Jackie is a mixed style master, and is extremely versatile. Jet is a beautiful fighter, strong, and subtly unpredictable.

In every good kung fu movie, the winner is the one who can somehow reach down inside himself and pull out a hidden skill. Since all three are set at equal skill levels, the winner is going to be the one who is most likely to pull out the greatest inner strength.

Bruce Lee is an original thinker. He bucks tradition and gets the idea that you have to be like water. He's also fast. Gunslinger fast. But he's arrogant, at least in his movies. His approach to most bad guys is, "I'm going to kick your butt." Determined is one thing, but you can't get cocky.

Jet Li is a student. He's that guy who scored straight A's in kung fu school. But in his movies he sometimes seems emotionless (although I have a feeling this is not the case in real life).

Bruce Lee and Jet Li tie, assuming Jet Li is fast enough to counter anything Bruce can throw at him. Jet Li's persistence overcomes Bruce's arrogance, but Bruce's raw talent overcomes Jet's technique.

Jackie Chan is a comic hopeful. He is also INSANE fast and crazy versatile. He could definitely counter Bruce's attacks, and he could get around whatever Jet threw at him. And since he's the most cheerful, he's the one most likely to have something worth fighting for. Thus the most likely to find inner strength.

However: The one thing we have not considered is the style derivatives. If Bruce had lived at the same time as Jackie and Jet, he would have had WAY more to go on. So Bruce could be a surprise win.

60/40 chance that Jackie wins, Bruce gets the girl, and Jet gets his own kung fu school.

If Bruce landed even one kick, though, Jackie would be done for.

X-BOX LIVE

2008-03-31T21:10:00.002-05:00

Everyone, I have an announcement to make. I am a member of X-Box Live. Yes, I know - how could I have waited SO long to join up? I was a tester, for crying out loud. Well, it doesn't matter. I'm on there now, and if you want to be my friend, that's awesome. Just send me a friend invite along with a message telling me who you are (or you can e-mail me or comment on this post with your X-Box Live ID).

My X-Box Live ID is: Guts Punch

Hope to have many new friends soon!

Wolverine Daily

2008-03-31T20:52:00.003-05:00

MLG just sent me a link to this interesting blog. It's a cool idea. Hope to see more.

And by the way, yes, my internet is working now. (yay!)

THE WOLVERINE DAILY

Wow. If only it were real.

2008-03-31T12:51:00.002-05:00

Last night I had the most arrogant dream I've ever had in my entire life. I had these naturally huge muscles ( I wasn't strong, just big muscled... weird) and I worked in some kind of showbiz. For some reason I was invited onto the set of Make Me A Supermodel, and everyone thought I was a contestant. I kept saying I wasn't and that I had never even watched the show before, but everyone thought I was so naturally beautiful that they declared me the winner anyway and I went on to get several big endorsement contracts.

MOVING

2008-03-30T17:49:00.002-05:00

Is going well. My internet should be up in the next few days. Be back soon!

SNAKE EYES!!!

2008-03-24T11:53:00.002-05:00

This is one of two first looks at Snake Eyes from the upcoming G.I. Joe movie. I have one word:

PERFECT.

I will go see this movie. Absolutely. Just because of the picture above.

Visit Super Hero Hype for more.

For the Record

2008-03-19T08:57:00.004-05:00

I'd like to go on record as saying I have never once considered suicide as a viable alternative to my problems. When I wrote about that in an earlier blog, I was being melodramatic. I think if I had been left to my own devices in high school, then yes, I would have probably been so depressed and angry that I would be dead by now. But I had parents who were praying for me, and friends who did the same, and so suicide never entered my mind as more than a passing thought, like, "Would I ever do that?" The answer was no.

I actually credit my parents as the only reasons I never got into drugs or heavy drinking or whatever other kind of trouble you can get into in high school. I was home schooled in high school, and while I did miss out on a few things (prom, drum line), the benefit was that I got to spend way more time around parents who love me and who didn't give up on me. They didn't do everything right, but no parent ever does. And while they may have misinformed me about certain things, it was definitely not their intention, and actually that misinformation probably saved my life.

Giving up art school was hard. But if I look at the mental and spiritual state I was in during high school, I know that if I had gone to art school, I would have been eaten alive. The pressure would have killed me, and the absolute lack of morality at most art schools would have taken its toll big time. I became a Christian because I ended up at a university that was completely NOT my style. Everything about it came as a total system shock to me. And that was a good thing, because even though I didn't want to change, it forced me to break away from my fantasies and face the real world.

Sometimes it's easy for me to look back on my life and wish things had gone differently. But that's really so petty. I've made the best decisions I could have made under the circumstances, and when I was deliberately making poor ones, someone else who cared about me was making good ones on my behalf. It would be nice to go back and do some things over again, and maybe if I ever come into money I'll reconsider art school. But if it means throwing out the past ten years worth of experiences, forget it. I may not have dreamed of this path when I was a kid, but it's this path that has made me who I am. I can't just throw that out.

Anyway, I'll be back in Amarillo today to pick up all my stuff. Hopefully I hear back from those apartment people as to whether or not I get it. If so, then I'm planning on heading back down here around the 29th. I won't have my computer in the meantime, so blogging will be infrequent as I will have to borrow someone else's machine.

Master Chief

2008-03-19T00:12:00.003-05:00

I've been playing a lot of Halo 3 lately, so I thought I'd do a sketch of the Master Chief. I'm absolutely horrible with industrial design and anatomy, so the pose isn't very dramatic and the whole thing is kind of vague. But whatever - I'm doing this for the fun of it. Go Master Chief!

FUN TRIVIA: Every time my brother gets a sword in Halo, he shouts the name of Odin as a battle cry. Weird but hilarious. UUUUUUUDIN! I think it's from The 13th Warrior.

More Decisions

2008-03-18T16:56:00.008-05:00

Well, I'm doing it! I'm moving to Austin. I love this city and the people are cool, and there are some really great churches here, one of which I really like. I'm excited.

Art school is right out. My decision. Even though it's something I've wanted to do for a long time, I think my life is headed in a different direction, and I'm okay with that. I'll still draw, and hopefully my skills will improve. But I've weighed it out thoroughly, and I just don't want to do it bad enough to get into 60,000+ dollars in debt. I like the freedom that comes with not owing anyone money. So instead, I'll see if I can find some art workshops locally, or maybe an art tutor.

As for the rest of my life, I have no idea. But I'm tired of thinking about it. I think I just experienced the verse where Jesus says, "Why worry about tomorrow? Each day has enough troubles of its own." I get all freaked out when I think about my future, because I don't see how any life that's different from my ideal could be any good. But that's just the thing - if I had my ideal life, I'd probably hate it. I mean, look at all these actors who are completely miserable. How many of them have terrible lifestyles and broken, horrible marriages? They have everything they could ever want, and they can literally do anything they want - and they resort to drugs and cheap thrills, because they are so bored with life.

There's a movie starring Robin Williams called What Dreams May Come. In it, heaven is portrayed as a place where you can have anything you can imagine. But as I heard someone say one time, any heaven that was a complete fulfillment of my imagination would be hell.

My natural desires are rotten and base and angry to the core. Human nature is selfish. And when I dwell so much on my dreams and the way I want my life to be... well, I get miserable. The thing is, if I had things my own way, I wouldn't face any challenges, or go through any hardships or anything. I would have this amazing lifestyle that was always changing and everyone could tell me how great I am. And with expectations like that, how can a person not be frustrated at every turn?

I have a life that isn't what I planned on, but that's because God is a way better storyteller than I am. The story of my life the way I would write it would be a book nobody would want to read. It would be selfish and devoid of any real adventure. But the life story God wants me to have is one where I face the unexpected and come out on top. I don't know what the Lord has in store for me, but I am convinced that it's something good, because every awesome story is about overcoming hardships and turning into a better person, and usually you end up getting to save a few people, and maybe you even get to rescue the princess.

That's why I trust in God. I might not always get along with Him, and that's my fault, and I certainly don't claim to understand Him, but I can't deny Him. I don't ever want to not have a relationship with Him. The challenges He has for me might not be obviously epic, but they are certainly real. Patience and humility and thankfulness are important things that I have to learn, and you can't always learn those things by slaying dragons. Sometimes you have to simply sit quietly, or perform repetitive training tasks, so that when you do finally find a dragon to slay, you're ready for it.

So I'm jumping in. I put in an application on an apartment and I should know in a day or two if it goes through. It's small, but it's in an awesome neighborhood, and the price is right. And even though I'm honestly scared out of my mind about starting over yet again, I'm really looking forward to moving in.

Here is a floor plan of my apartment. I drew it up myself, so the scale is all off, and I forgot to include the bathroom sink, but you get the idea.

Blog Publishing

2008-03-17T15:02:00.002-05:00

On a side note, I really like the message you get when you publish a blog on here. It says, "Your blog post published successfully!" It's like it's saying, "Way to go! You just leveled up! You are now a level 60 BlogMage!"

Breathe Easy

2008-03-17T14:42:00.005-05:00

Okay, so I still have no idea what in the world I'm doing, but I have made at least one decision: I'm going to stop focusing on what I don't have. I'm also going to stop worrying so much about these big meaning of life issues. Instead, I'm going to use the skills and experience I do have to overcome the little challenges all around me. I'm going to enjoy the blessings I have. That way I can take each day at a time, and I won't miss out if a cool opportunity presents itself. Sure that's idealistic and cliche, but I certainly don't care. Better to be pleasant and live in the moment than to be depressed because everything isn't exactly how I want it to be.

CONAN! ...er, Tarzan.

2008-03-11T17:45:00.005-05:00

As seems to happen once every two or three months, I've been thinking about going back to art school. I've been trying to improve my illustration skills accordingly. I don't have a pen or paper or pencils or anything, so I've been doing some sketches in Photoshop. This was supposed to be Conan, but it came out more like Tarzan. Anyway, I'm happy with it, especially considering it's the second sketch I've done in Photoshop in probably a billion years.

More (and hopefully better) to come.

Adi Granov

2008-03-11T09:54:00.002-05:00

This guy is one of my new favorite artists. He's not new. I only recently discovered him, though. I found him because he's doing a lot of the new Iron Man covers. They are amazing.

CHECK OUT HIS WEBSITE

BLOOD ON THE HIGHWAY

2008-03-10T23:33:00.003-05:00

Warning: This is an excessively bloody R rated trailer

What is Blood on the Highway? It's a vampire zombie comedy horror film that premiers this month. What's cool about it? Besides the fact that it's about vampire zombies, it happens to star the sister of my good friend Matt (mlg as he appears in comments on this blog). She plays the pretty female lead who asks if something is burning.

You can watch the trailer here, or go to bloodonthehighway.com to see it in HD.

It's like E-Bay for Artists!

2008-03-10T12:13:00.003-05:00

My amazing and wonderful long time friend Valerie introduced me to one of the most awesome websites ever yesterday. It's called Etsy.com, and it's like e-bay, but for artists! Almost everything on there is handmade, and you can find the coolest stuff. I already found a replica of Cloud's sword from Final Fantasy VII and some pins with all the Portal achievements on them, and I bought a Human Torch wallet and a t-shirt proclaiming the fury of Zeus. Most stuff is reasonably priced, too.

Check it out here!

Show Your Support!

2008-03-09T08:37:00.002-05:00

Vote for Harvey Dent!

free arcade = SUPER WEAK

2008-03-08T20:25:00.002-06:00

Man, what a let down. I went down to SXSW to check out their Screenburn free arcade, and I was not impressed. The way the hype had been going, I was all ready for a giant room full of endless games that I could spend days on. Instead it was a very small area with a few demo booths and a tournament arena.

WEAK. Come on, man! If you're going to have an interactive festival, and if you're going to focus on video games, have a GOOD arcade!

But I guess I can't blame them. After all, the interactive part is more for industry professionals than geeks. So it makes sense that they would spend more time on **learning** and less time on fun.

BOOOO! Learning is for grown ups.

FREE ARCADE

2008-03-08T13:08:00.003-06:00

MMMMMMMMMMM, Tasty. I'm totally going to this. Hopefully I'll meet a cute nerd chick, and we'll play a multiplayer co-op game together, destroying aliens and zombies left and right. Then later we can go out to eat. How romantic! :)

FREE ARCADE AT SXSW

Huge Random Update About Everything (Including Girls)

2008-03-08T08:58:00.007-06:00

Last night was awesome crazy. This group called the Austin Wind Symphony did a special performance of orchestrated video game themes, which was awesome. I went by myself (lame) and was kind of hoping to meet some new people. It was nerd central, for sure, so I figured anyone I would meet there would be totally cool.

I didn't really meet anyone. Well, I did kind of meet this one cute girl who was waiting on her boyfriend, and if I'd remembered to bring my camera I could have met the Master Chief (who showed up live for the event - so awesome). And there was this other girl there with cat ears on who I wasn't attracted to but who seemed like an interesting person. But that's it.

Afterwards I went to my new favorite place in the world, Spiderhouse, and got a drink and finished reading Stardust (the movie was better). I love that place because aside from just being totally awesome, they play incredible music, and most of the patrons are artists, rockers, or artist/rocker wannabees. I get inspired every time I go in there, especially at night, so I'm making it a habit to spend time there reading a book.

The only thing that was lame about last night (here comes the 'girls' part) is that I could not stop thinking about Jessica. I mean, geez, I thought I was over her. I guess I should mention that I'm not seeing Shelby anymore, although you probably figured that out by now. Anyway, at this point, the Coolest Girlfriend Ever Award still goes to Jessica. The whole time I was listening to the symphony and sitting in the coffee shop, I was thinking, "Man, Jessica would love this."

I know I did the right thing breaking up with her. Our relationship was unbalanced and it would have compromised everything I believe in for me to stay with her. But even though I know that... I mean, I want my life's purpose to be to share God's love with people who are hurting, especially people who are overlooked. But if I could ask God for one thing above all others, I would ask Him for a wife.

I never felt embarrassed to be myself around Jessica. Sometimes that freaked me out, and I didn't know what to say to her, but I never felt like I would get laughed at for my artistic/nerdy interests. We had fun together. There's only one other girl I've dated that I can say that about, but we weren't even really official or anything, and it was a long time ago.

Man. I wish I could find a girl like her who is also passionate about Christ. I'm just so tired of dating girls who have nothing in common with me. I want to go out with someone who is every bit as artistic and creative as I am. Because of Jessica, I know girls like that exist... they're just really, REALLY hard to find.

Btw, here are some pictures of her. I stole them from her friend's deviantart gallery. She might not like that I posted them, but I don't think she reads this anyway. Besides, I need a good picture for this blog and I know you're all curious. So there you go.

Man. There has GOT to be another girl like her around here somewhere.

Other People's Blogs

2008-03-05T09:30:00.004-06:00

Hey guys, if you're wondering why I haven't commented on any of your recent blog posts, it's because I'm having to use someone else's computer while I'm down here. I don't have all my normal bookmarks set up so it's hard to see what everyone is doing. Anyway, Austin is still fun. I'm applying for a writing/editing position today. Meanwhile the cats are tearing up the house. Have a nice day!

The Hunt Begins

2008-03-04T12:32:00.002-06:00

Well, I'm starting to hunt for jobs today. So far the market's been kind of random, but I have found some interesting video opportunities. One thing that is kind of funny is that there are a lot of acting positions open. I should expect that, since Austin is quickly becoming the new Hollywood, but still. I'm terrible at acting, but I'm thinking of taking lessons. It would be fun! And hey, what better way to meet interesting people than by goofing around on a movie set?

Austin, Cats, and Topical Preaching

2008-03-03T09:55:00.008-06:00

I made it to Austin, finally! Geez, it took long enough. When I left San Diego, I thought I'd be in Austin the next week. Guess I was wrong.

Well, I'm here now, and it's been fun so far. Austin is way easier to navigate than SD, and there are just as many (if not more) fun things to do here. I saw John Pointer, which was cool - he's this acoustic guitar player guy, the type of which seems to be the Austin norm. Not usually my music scene, but it was fun, nonetheless.

The coolest things so far have been my brother's cats. I love cats. They have this one cat, Mika, who has really warmed up to me. She's beautiful and I think I'm going to steal her.

I also got to try a couple of churches - Southwest Family Fellowship and The Austin Stone. SWFF was really cool, because the pastor was very informative. I learned a ton listening to him. Unfortunately it was really small, and while on one hand I love that, I really want to go someplace where I can meet more people. The Austin Stone was definitely that way - TONS of people my age, a large majority of whom are single, and the girls outnumber the guys. My kind of church ;) Seriously, though, it was pretty cool. I just need to read over their statement of faith to make sure I agree with it. Also, I want to hear a sermon that the pastor preached a couple of weeks ago. Apparently he listed several reasons why topical preaching is bad, and why preaching straight through the bible is the only way it should be done. That makes me nervous, because anytime a preacher gets in front of the church and says what can amount to, "Those people are lame. We do it better," it is generally out of pride and foolishness. I'm not calling the preacher foolish - not at all. What he had to say the other night was great, and everyone there seemed genuine and nice. That's why I want to listen to the sermon - to hear for myself exactly what he said. Then I'll decide what I think about it.

Personally, having worked at a few churches, I prefer a mixture of both kinds of preaching. But if I had to choose only one style, I would go with topical preaching. The danger is that you can sometimes not use the Bible as much, but the benefits are far greater.

For one thing, congregations go through issues just like any individual, and topical preaching allows the pastor to address those issues. If you just go straight through a book of the Bible, you don't always have the flexibility to do this.

Also, if you know that the pastor is going to be talking about stress or heartbreak or getting along with your relatives, you can take that opportunity to invite someone who may need to be encouraged in those specific areas. You yourself may need to hear it, so you'll want to make sure to attend. But if you are just going straight through scripture, you don't really know what subject the pastor is going to address. He might skip over that part you thought was important and go on to something you didn't expect. That can be cool sometimes, but it's not very good for inviting people to church.

Another thing to consider is how you present the gospel. Topical sermons allow the integration of drama, video, visual props, lighting variations, and other thematic elements that can help convey the truth of the message. Some churches abuse this privilege, but when done correctly, it can really help make a point. However, going straight through the Bible often causes the messages to vary drastically from one sermon to the next, so doing these kinds of things becomes impractical.

Additionally, you have to think of the lasting impact. Most people, if you ask them as soon as an hour after the service, will not remember most of what the pastor talked about. They will answer you vaguely. A topical visual cue can have much more impact, because it can serve as a reminder every time they see something similar. And when they encounter this topic in their own lives, they can remember the specifics of what the gospel says.

Finally, you have to think of the secondary listeners. If you go straight through the bible, you can record your sermons onto CDs and package them as "The Book of John." But when you hand that package to someone, they will ask, "Why should I listen to this? I'll just go read it for myself." But if you hand someone a package of sermons titled "Sex, Dating & Marriage", they will think, "This is something I've been wanting more information about, and I'd love to hear what the gospel has to say."

But like I said, I prefer a mixture of both. Sometimes it's fun to say, "Let's go through the book of Jonah." And if you do that, you can be confident, because the Lord's word is powerful and good. But other times you should address an issue. For example, the weeks after 9/11 would have been a great time to address the issue of fear. And Valentine's is a perfect opportunity to address issues of love.

Anyway, Austin is cool, and I'm glad I'm here. The coming weeks will help me decide if I'm actually going to move here or not. Rent is expensive, and the heat is unbearable, but there seem to be a lot of job opportunities. So far I think I would enjoy it. I'll keep you posted.

GONE ROAD TRIPPING

2008-02-29T08:48:00.001-06:00

Be back soon

BUY THIS ALBUM

2008-02-28T10:32:00.002-06:00

DESTROY ALL HUMANS!

2008-02-27T09:48:00.003-06:00

My dad e-mailed me an article about killer robots destroying humanity. It's actually pretty interesting.

CLICK HERE TO READ IT

HUNGRY LIKE THE WOLF

2008-02-26T23:40:00.005-06:00

I wish I'd written this song. I bet this guy gets a lot of high fives.

Two Weeks? Two Weeks?

2008-02-26T23:39:00.001-06:00

I'll be in Austin for two weeks starting Friday and my access to computers will be limited. Just so you know why if I don't update four times a day.

Ahem.

2008-02-26T16:49:00.000-06:00

90%

Holy Crap, This Game Rocks

2008-02-25T12:09:00.005-06:00

I know it's been out for a while, but I finally just got The Orange Box. I've been spending most of my time playing through the Half Life games, but last night, for something new, I tried out Portal. For those of you who don't know, Portal is a very short little extra game that comes with The Orange Box. Magazines and friends had been telling me it would blow my mind, but I was totally unprepared for how AWESOME it is. I seriously stayed up until three in the morning so I could beat it.

It's such a rad concept. You have a gun that shoots portals. One trigger shoots an entrance portal, and the other shoots an exit portal. You can place the portals almost anywhere, which makes for some crazy puzzle solving and some super weird gravity effects. My favorite thing is to put an exit portal in the ceiling, and then open an entrance portal right under your feet, so you fall in a continuous loop through a hallway. Awesome.

There's also a sweet sense of humor in the game, even through the end credits. Seriously, I haven't had that much fun with a game in years. If you own an X-Box 360, there is absolutely no excuse for not owning The Orange Box. Go buy it. Now.

Classic Ninja Rock

2008-02-23T09:02:00.003-06:00

I had a dream last night that I was the lead singer of Led Zeppelin. And I was also a ninja.

I was on a futuristic snowy planet battling space soldiers and genetically enhanced jungle beasts. At the same time, I was recording a live album. We had all these mics set up around the battlefield, and as I ran around fighting things, I was laying down vocal tracks.

My favorite part of the dream was when I entered this underground bunker. First I killed off all these raging elephants, and then I shot up all these space soldiers. Then I realized that the space soldiers were fighting a huge scorpion-man, who was so tough that I couldn't kill him without better weapons. I was trying to collect pieces of a battery so that I could activate a shuttle and move on to the next place. But they were scattered all throughout the bunker, and I had to run and pick them up while this massive genetic abomination was chasing me. The whole time, I'm singing How Many More Times, and my producer is standing up on this railing saying, "Go, go, GO! He's almost got you - THERE, GREAT! That was fantastic. MAN I hope he can evade this thing long enough to lay down the whole track!"

Crazy. And I even found this picture on google, which is hilarious, because this is pretty much exactly what the scorpion man looked like, except with a more human face. The space soldiers had guns, though.

My Artist is Cool

2008-02-23T00:00:00.002-06:00

Ted, the guy doing the portrait of me, sent me this link to a site called Threadless where you can buy all sorts of cool shirts at reasonable prices. I just bought the guy versions of this one and another one called Napoleon's Ride. I'm going to wear one of them to the unveiling party whenever my finished painting arrives. Cool, huh?

CHECK OUT THREADLESS HERE

JUMPER

2008-02-22T08:20:00.002-06:00

I went and saw Jumper last night and it was really entertaining. I love it when people come up with a new twist on an old concept.

Cool

2008-02-22T01:01:00.001-06:00

Sometimes God helps us when we least deserve it. He gives us so many chances to get things right, and I think that is so cool.

70x7...

Make your brain explode!

2008-02-21T16:36:00.002-06:00

Feel like taking a test? This website has a series of tests that are supposed to evaluate how good of a candidate you would be as an officer for the Swedish Armed Forces. I did a little better than average, but WOAH are the tests hard. I think all this proves about me is that I'm way too good at playing video games ;)

TAKE THE TESTS

Icebreaker Question

2008-02-21T15:38:00.003-06:00

If you could miraculously gain superior acting skills, and then you could do a remake of any movie that's ever been made, even a modern movie, and you would play the lead role, which movie would you remake?

I would do Tron, 300, Star Wars, Lord of the Rings - pretty much any high budget special effects film. Also I've always wanted to remake Clash of the Titans... I'd probably do that one.

Deal or No Deal

2008-02-21T02:12:00.008-06:00

Since we're already talking about arrogance, see previous post, let's throw some superficiality in there. I am going to catch so much flak for this.

Have you ever thought, "What if I was on that show, Deal or No Deal? How would I pick the suitcases? Would I use a system? Would I go with my gut? What's my lucky number?"

My family knows this, but most other people don't. I don't know why I bother to share this with the internet except that it's been a really boring day, and this idea would be REALLY fun for me, so it's a nice fantasy. ANYWAY, I've had this idea for a while now. It will probably never happen, but here it is:

I would play the game by picking the least attractive girls first. That way the last girl left would be the most attractive girl up there, and if I won a million dollars, I'm pretty sure she would go out with me.

It's not like any of them are ugly. It's more like "who's cutest." Yeah yeah, superficial, but good grief, when else would you get an opportunity like that? I mean, come on! A million dollars! A MILLION dollars! Who CARES if she's only after me for my money? One date can't hurt anything. And I would make it a CRAZY date, too!!! LOL, she would be thinking I'm going to try and romance her, and then I would use my money to rent out a Karaoke bar and invite all my friends and we'd just go nuts. I would try to find all the craziest, weirdest, most unthinkably awesome things you could do, and then we'd go do it. Like rent two limos, and then get the drivers to race while we're hanging out our respective sunroofs shooting water guns at each other. Rent real hollywood costumes and get professional make up artists to turn us into movie characters and go walking around Manhattan. Weird stuff like that. You know, call up a celebrity, and be like, "Hey, I just won a million dollars. Can we come watch a movie over at your house?" Or get the zoo to let us take the lions out for a stroll through the neighborhood.

Anyway, in this picture, if I were the contestant, I would eliminate, in this order:

First group: 21, 25, 26, 14, 20
Second group: 23, 24, 7, 16, 12
Third group: 9, 10, 2, 5, 18
Fourth group: 22, 15, 19
Fifth group: 1, 13
Sixth: 11
Seventh: 3
Eighth: 4
Ninth: 17
Tenth: 8

That means I'd take number 6 out on a date. Woohoo!

Mmmmmnnnno.

2008-02-21T02:04:00.004-06:00

I just finished watching the Project Runway Season 4 Reunion Show... Did anyone other than me think it was really awkward? I mean, seriously, some of the questions were HARSH. And then it's like, who edited it, because man, they picked some WEIRD crap to cut to sometimes. Weird looks, super weird phrases - it was just so awkward.

Anyway, it doesn't matter really. I only watched it to see Kit, but she wasn't featured very much. Everyone this season is in love with Christian. I wouldn't be surprised if he gets his own spinoff.

SEE, IT JUST GOES TO SHOW THAT ARROGANCE PAYS OFF! :) And you wonder why I'm doing my painting.

The Happening

2008-02-19T00:03:00.003-06:00

They finally released a trailer for M. Night Shyamalan's new movie, The Happening. Check it out here.

Triumph for My Mighty Steel

2008-02-18T12:51:00.005-06:00

I'm still trying to come up for a name for this painting. Any suggestions? "Triumph for My Mighty Steel" is a play off the title of a Rhapsody song. They're not the greatest band in the world, and certainly not the most uplifting, but I've never heard a band more epic. Anyway, here is the color comp revision I sent back to the artist, along with a back to back comparison with the original (left). What do you think?

I can't WAIT to get the finished painting!!!

Since I know you are all going to look it up anyway, let me save you the trouble. Here is a hilariously bad and amusingly appropriate fan music video of the song I was talking about. Remember, I do not endorse this band. Anyway, here ya go:

5th Rider of the Apocalypse Painting Color Comp

2008-02-18T00:00:00.006-06:00

Okay guys, here's the color comp of my painting. Feedback? Suggestions? I personally think this is looking AMAZING. The artist thinks I need to be holding a machine gun instead of a sword. I tend to agree, but there's just something about a sword, you know? Also he's still working out some anatomical issues. Compositionally, my face looks small, but remember, the long side is going to be four feet when printed. I'm still thinking my face needs to be bigger, though...

By the way, yes, that is a mutant zombie redcoat battling an indian in the foreground. The color comp is still missing some details, but I'm glad we get to see a preview of that.

Fun Book

2008-02-17T16:08:00.004-06:00

I'm hoping to get Shelby into the studio sometime soon for a photo session. For fun and inspiration, I went looking around at Barnes & Noble, and found this cool little book. I like it because I like people, and this book is full of really interesting people and fun ideas. If you ever see it laying around somewhere, it's worth a flip-through.

Aaaah, I flaked.

2008-02-17T00:36:00.002-06:00

I didn't go see Ex US President Clinton. Eh... I wanted to give him a high five, not because I support him really, just because I want to be able to say, "I high fived a US President." But I didn't want to wait around for a million hours to make it happen. So I went to Barnes & Noble instead.

The world is in danger... and only the Ex US Presidents can save us!

2008-02-16T11:13:00.004-06:00

When I was in photo school, one of my best friends and I had this running joke about the Ex US Presidents forming a league of superheroes that included ressurrcted versions of George Washington and Thomas Jefferson as well as the first dog president (who travelled to our time from the future). Well, I just found out that former US President Clinton is going to be in my town today, and I really want to go see him. My town is very republican, and there's a chance that if hecklers get too rowdy, he may be forced to use his superpowers. Seeing an Ex President use heat vision or super strength is a once in a lifetime experience, and I would hate to miss it.

Posted from my iPhone.

Shelby

2008-02-15T11:33:00.005-06:00

So since some of you have been asking, I thought I'd post a short little blog about Shelby. Unfortunately I don't have any pictures of her, so here's a really cool picture of Iron Man instead. You'll be blown away when you see her, though. She could be a supermodel. No joke.

The first time I saw her was when she was my waitress at this restaurant here. I've been staying with my parents for about a month so far, so that I could get LASIK surgery and go to some dental appointments. I've been enjoying spending time with my family and friends, so one night I met my brother and sister-in-law and a friend of mine at this restaurant. As soon as I walked in, my brother was like, "David, you have GOT to ask out our waitress." I was like, "Yeah, okay, whatever." And then I saw her... and it was like, WOAH. So I went back in a few times looking for her, but I couldn't find her, so I left her a note, and she ended up e-mailing me like a week later. We started hanging out on Sunday, and have pretty much hung out every day since then, culminating in a PHENOMENAL Valentine's last night, and hopefully a really great weekend.

That's the short story. I'm not going to post a whole lot more just because it's fun to keep some things for myself :) But hopefully this is something that lasts for a really, really long time, and if that's the case, you'll get to read plenty about her, I'm sure. Have a great weekend, everybody!

Da dada da, da dada...

2008-02-15T09:38:00.000-06:00

LOL, if you insist!

2008-02-14T12:15:00.003-06:00

Peter asked me to post my Valentine from 2005 for old times sake. Shelby, if I'd known you then, this would have been for you :) Anyway, this is ridiculous. Enjoy.

Click here to view

Happy Valentine's Day!

2008-02-14T00:07:00.004-06:00

This year my heart goes out to one person in particular. She's adorable and she's gorgeous and she is rocking my entire world. Shelby, if you're reading this - Happy Valentine's Day :)

Freaking News dot com

2008-02-13T18:40:00.004-06:00

Don't ask me why in the world they named their website that, but they've got some sweet Photoshop contests. This is a winner from a contest called Art Fashion. Awesome.

Groundbreaking New Vision?

2008-02-12T20:32:00.000-06:00

Before I write this, I promise not to make this blog about criticizing movies or actors about their poor content and moral choices. That being said, let me bash this film.

Cloverfield was awesome. And while some might tout it as a Blair Witch rip off, I disagree. I think it is brilliant, moving, original in many ways, and basically the best monster movie to come out in a long time.

Now enter George A. Romero's new zombie movie, Diary of the Dead, in which a group of young adults make a movie documenting the end of the world and the rise of the zombie nation.

I have to say, it's going to be a let down. It's going to be violent, scary, and unhealthy to watch. I am not going to go see it, and that's saying a lot because I really like zombie movies. To me, they're not really scary, because after all, a zombie is already dead, so who cares what you do to it? Killing a zombie is like killing a cockroach. Sure they're nasty and they're gross to look at, but once you squish it, blam, threat over.

Why would you do this, though? If you're going to make an "original" new zombie film, why resort to ripping off a style that has just been done? Even if Cloverfield did copy Blair Witch, it waited a few years until the effect had worn off. Not so with Diary of the Dead.

I guess it doesn't really matter, though. The only people who are likely to see this won't really care that it's a rip off. So why am I even writing this review? I quit.

The days just keep getting better and better!

2008-02-12T18:43:00.000-06:00

For those of you who know...

2008-02-11T22:06:00.000-06:00

...last night was AWESOME. And today was even more awesome. Am I excited? Am I pumped up?

Oh yes.

And for those of you who don't know, don't worry about it. Hopefully you'll hear about it soon enough :)

Okay, I'm sorry.

2008-02-10T13:27:00.000-06:00

That previous post is really mean. Sorry about that. I'm sorry, Keira Knightley. I shouldn't have made fun of you. But you really should mix it up a bit, you know?

Anyway...

Oh Puh-LEEEEZ.

2008-02-10T12:53:00.000-06:00

I was scanning the trailers on Apple's website when I came across this wonderful little piece of garbage featuring Keira Knightley. From what I can tell, she once again portrays an overly dramatic, idolized, sensual woman with thinly woven moral fiber and bad taste in hair design. Seriously, people - yes, she is pretty, at least as far as Hollywood standards go. I actually think she's one of the 'prettiest' girls out there. But does she HAVE to sex it up so much? Unless you just don't care what goes into your brain, it's like you almost can't even watch a movie with her in it anymore. I mean, come on! It's like that's all she's going for, as if she wakes up in the morning and says, "How can I get another role where I can get naked, cry a lot, and act really insecure emotionally?"

You know, a little more adventure comedy would do this girl some good. She needs to just forget all the dramatic sex-scene rolls and tackle something more challenging, like a Sci-Fi Original. She'd be perfect for that. I mean, am I the only one who hated Domino? Worthless. Something far better would have been, "Mutant Zombie Invasion IV: Starring Keira Knightly and Bruce Campbell."

If you dare, you can watch the trailer for The Duchess here. But I'm warning you, it's stupid. There's this one scene where she is walking towards the camera with all these candles behind her, and it literally just made me bust out laughing. I mean, not like it's bad, it's just so overdone for her. It's like my painting I'm having done, only it's not a joke. It's for real.

Okay, okay, if I was single, and there wasn't a real girl I was interested in, I probably wouldn't turn down a date with her. But I just have this feeling, you know? Like I would spend most of my time acting like Johnny in this great video from LisaNova:

As Tall As Lions

2008-02-09T18:57:00.000-06:00

Such a good album.

...I love you, Turok.

2008-02-09T16:17:00.000-06:00

I take back some of the things I said about this game. Namely that the design is poor, that it's too hard, and that it's not fun. The design is actually pretty good, even though the levels all kind of look the same. It's fun running through a base that's been infested with raptors and giant bugs - kind of like Rambo meets Jurassic Park.

Also it's really not that hard once you figure it out. Sometimes games just require a different style of play. For example, Halo (single player) is very accommodating to the "hang back and pick off all the enemies" style of gameplay. Doom 3 is not. In Doom 3, you have to run full speed through every room, barely looking behind you, blasting anything that gets in your way and forgetting anything you leave behind. Turok falls somewhere between the two.

And it's REALLY fun. Really, REALLY fun. I just finished playing it for a while, and I ended my gaming session by winning a duel with a T-Rex. Yes, a T-REX. How cool was that?

Very cool.

My other complaints still stand. But I do concede that this is an awesome game, and that my previous harsh critique may have been unwarranted.

Dude, I can totally SEE now!!!

2008-02-08T10:23:00.001-06:00

It is blowing my MIND! I can't believe it! Lasik was freaky, but I woke up this morning and I can SEE without glasses or anything! I have better vision than I did when I was wearing contacts!

This is so crazy. Everyone should get Lasik!

I'll miss you, blurry world

2008-02-07T10:19:00.000-06:00

You know, as I sit here in the waiting room about to have LASIK, I'm struck by a sense of sadness. There is something relaxing and magical about seeing the world through imperfect eyes. There is nothing like taking your glasses off during a stressful day and just defocusing. I'll miss not being able to do that.

Congratulations!

2008-02-07T04:39:00.000-06:00

I just found out that Ted, the artist doing my portrait, just got a huge promotion at work. Congratulations, Ted!!!

BRAZIL

2008-02-06T23:02:00.000-06:00

I'm getting my LASIK done - either that, or I'm recovering from it - so here's a little pre-written post for everyone about the movie Brazil.

If you look a few posts down at the Wall•E comments, you'll find out why I was so interested in seeing this movie. After going on a citywide hunt, I finally tracked down a copy. As it turns out, the movie is difficult to find. Perhaps it's not in high demand - understandable, as it's 142 minutes long and weird as crap. Or maybe it's in such high demand that nobody can actually keep it in stock.

Either way, the movie is incredible. Fantastic soundtrack, fantastic costumes, and a weird, weird, weird plot, just the way I like it ;) Seriously, though, I loved how it was full of these little moments that were hilarious, but not so obvious. For example, in one scene, a lady is walking her dog, and the dog's butt is taped up, because it's apparently illegal for your dog to poop in public. And throughout the movie, the computer monitors are all really tiny, but they all have these huge magnifying glasses in front of them. So weird, but so awesome.

I don't want to ruin it for anyone who hasn't seen it, so I'll leave it at that. I definitely say don't watch it unless you have tons of time, really weird movie taste, and a love for paranoid characters. If you liked the movie Dark City (which is awesome, btw) you'll probably like this movie. Just know before you go into it - it's so stinking weird.

LASER EYES +

2008-02-06T19:02:00.001-06:00

I bought these sweet shades so I don't accidentally blast someone after my LASIK tomorrow. If there's one thing Cyclops has taught me, it's that you can't be too careful. Hmm... My eyes are blue, so do you think I get blue lasers, or just the standard red? What colors do you think I should I use for my costume?

---

Happy Birthday, SC :)

---

Man, last night in the hot tub for a while. No hot tubs or swimming pools for a WEEK after lasik. You say week? I say WEAK. Whatever though. Actually I think there was one more thing I'm supposed to avoid... heh, I can't remember. Hmmm...

What he was meant for...

2008-02-05T22:52:00.001-06:00

I don't know about you guys, but I am really excited to see this film. I think I'm going to identify with it so much, you know? I already love the music, and the animation is incredible. Watch the trailer here.

AAAHH - THE POWER!!!

2008-02-05T10:20:00.000-06:00

YESSSSSSS!!! I went to the LASIK guy today and he said I'm a great candidate for it. So this Thursday, I get laser eyes. AWESOME!!

HOLY MOLEY!!!

2008-02-04T16:02:00.000-06:00

I just found out that Jet Li and Jackie Chan are finally doing a movie together! It's called Forbidden Kingdom and I have no idea when it comes out. Will I go see it? You bet I will.

(ps... four posts in one day? i must be really bored!)

I HATE YOU, TUROK

2008-02-04T12:59:00.000-06:00

I have to do a blog about this because it is PISSING ME OFF.

I just got a game for my 360 called Turok. It's a remake/sequel of an older game called Turok: Dinosaur Hunter in which you run around with futuristic weapons and a compound bow and kill soldiers and large prehistoric reptiles. The old game was... okay. Not really that fun. I guess the way to say it is that whenever Turok was released, there were already way better first person shooters out there. So it didn't light my heart on fire.

Nevertheless, I purchased the remake because I needed something to do, and this game looked like fun. A standard, run of the mill FPS, sure, but what game offers to let you shoot down Velociraptors with a machine gun? I took it home, popped it in, and was greeted by a very cool cut scene with ferocious over-muscled dudes on a space cruiser playing a game of Who's Toughest (except for one over-muscled dude who kept giggling like a schoolgirl for no apparent reason). Then suddenly the ship crash lands on an alien world full of... prehistoric dinosaurs. Okay, it doesn't make a lot of sense, but the cool factor is up there, so I was excited.

Until I started playing it.

This game is absolute rubbish. While the voice acting and graphics are impressive, the gameplay is complete trash. I would literally have more fun if I went outside and poked dog poo with a stick, which is something I haven't done since I was three years old.

First of all, there's the illusion of stealth gameplay. I say illusion because even though the game urges you to make all sorts of stealth kills, there's absolutely no way to do it. Apparently the enemies have super vision and super hearing, because they can see you even if you're hiding in shadows standing perfectly still. If you use the gun that has a silencer on it, everyone hears you anyway and comes running. The only way to perform a stealth kill is to run up behind a soldier and use your knife, but since it leaves you defenseless, and since every other solider in the known universe can see you when do this, you might as well have crept up behind him and used an air horn and then wiggled your poop-poking stick at all his buddies who are filling your poorly protected body with bullets.

Which brings me to the thing that's really frustrating. The difficulty range of this game is just stupid. It goes from being easy to impossible in about two seconds, mostly because your character has almost no life meter, no body armor, and no way to restore life quickly. I guess they were trying to copy the successful Gears of War style of gameplay, but they failed utterly.

Let me give you an example. In the first chapter after the prologue, you have to infiltrate an enemy base. At one point you reach an industrial elevator leading up. There are a few boxes on the platform that provide very poor cover, and the elevator moves slowly. Any gamer knows what to expect here: "I have to get on the elevator and shoot bad guys that come at me from every angle until the elevator reaches the top." Conventional, overdone, but whatever. It's challenging, but not so bad, until about ten minutes in when the elevator stops. You have to get off the elevator, go destroy a control mechanism, and get back on. Suddenly, about twenty billion guys come at you from every angle, leaving you no place to hide, and because of their attack angle and rate of fire, you end up being dead before you can even find out where the shots are coming from.

I found out where they are coming from because I tried this twenty times without winning. I mean, unless you get lucky, how are you supposed to dodge this?

What's even WORSE? The manual save feature doesn't work. Normally when you die, you have to start over with the elevator all the way at the bottom, which means you have to go through another ten minutes of predictable gameplay before being slaughtered again. So I tried saving the game after I destroyed the controls, but when I died, it's like my save didn't take. I was forced to start over at the bottom of the elevator shaft. AGAIN.

Look, I love first person shooters, and I'd like to think that after playing almost every one out there, I am GOOD at them. But this game is work, and when a game feels like work, it's not fun anymore. It's supid. Hear that, Turok? STUPID!!! The artists did great, and the sound designers did great, but the level designers were dispassionate and tired. And the testers did NOT do their jobs, or else someone didn't listen to them. My verdict? It should be covered in marinade and fed to a pack of Tyrannosaurs, and then when it's excreted it should be used to fertilize plants for the other dinosaurs to eat so that it can be eaten and excreted again, because that's all this game is ever going to be good for.

HOWEVER: I haven't played it on two player co-op mode yet. I bet it would be way more fun then, because you have a living, breathing, thinking human being playing with you instead of the moronic AI. But that still doesn't change the fact that the controls are poor and the stealth is nonexistent.

BARGAIN

2008-02-04T09:56:00.000-06:00

I'd gladly lose me to find you
I'd gladly give up all I had
To find you I'd suffer anything and be glad

I'd pay any price just to get you
I'd work all my life and I will
To win you I'd stand naked, stoned and stabbed

I'd call that a bargain
The best I ever had
The best I ever had

I'd gladly lose me to find you
I'd gladly give up all I got
To catch you I'm gonna run and never stop

I'd pay any price just to win you
Surrender my good life for bad
To find you I'm gonna drown an unsung man

I'd call that a bargain
The best I ever had
The best I ever had

I sit looking 'round
I look at my face in the the mirror
I know I'm worth nothing without you
In life one and one don't make two
One and one make one
And I'm looking for that free ride to me
I'm looking for you

I'd gladly lose me to find you
I'd gladly give up all I got
To catch you I'm gonna run and never stop

I'd pay any price just to win you
Surrender my good life for bad
To find you I'm gonna drown an unsung man

I'd call that a bargain
The best I ever had
The best I ever had

New Link

2008-02-04T09:31:00.000-06:00

I'm putting up a new link to Joshua Middleton's blog. I'd seen his artwork before, but Jessica is the one who really got me started on him. Anyway, his art is fantastic, and it's fun looking through his blog, because you often get to see covers and concepts before they actually hit the shelves. Enjoy.

Josh Middleton's Blog

I pledge allegiance...

2008-02-02T22:25:00.000-06:00

Found this on a friend's blog and it was too good not to repost. Enjoy.

LOOK INTO MY LASER EYES

2008-01-31T12:33:00.000-06:00

Yes, yes, I'm convinced, if I am a good candidate, I'm going to get LASIK. The only possible problem is that according to my normal eye doctor, my pupils are really, really big. Apparently that makes me extra super sexy, but it also means that if I got LASIK, there's a chance my eyes could dilate beyond the treatment area, causing night blindness.

It's not that big of a deal, though. I have an evaluation with the eye guy on Tuesday. He's going to shoot all these infrared rays into my eyeballs to measure them in different light conditions. If I'm not a good candidate, he'll tell me. And then I'll have to wear glasses for the rest of my life, and end up looking like this guy.

Really? Okay. Well, that's good to know.

2008-01-28T17:17:00.000-06:00

According to this website, which is ghetto, by the way, the name that Bastian calls out at the end of The Neverending Story is Moon Child. I've always wondered that. It's kind of a dumb name, but whatever. I still love the movie.

RAMBO

2008-01-28T10:23:00.000-06:00

First Blood is still my favorite, but this one was awesome. You know, I really like what Stallone is doing with his characters. I don't know if it's true, but I heard that he's a Christian, and that he regretted a time in his life where he fell away, so he's going back and trying to redeem a lot of his old characters. I really like that idea.

Rambo is really good. It's SUPER violent (realistically so) and has some bad language, but it's awesome. The bad guys make you REALLY mad, especially since the movie portrays them accurately. When Stallone had the idea for the movie, he called up some people in government and asked, "What country has the worst human rights violations?" The answer was Burma. All the footage of horrors being committed at the beginning of the movie is actually real. It's sickening that people do that stuff. And it's really scary when you think about how much of the world is just like Burma. The middle east, lots of Asia, most of Africa, the Philippines - it goes on and on.

I also like the way the movie ended. I won't give anything away, but I liked it.

Here are some statistics on Burma:

US Department of State report on Burma

Human Rights Watch: Burma

Dear Women Everywhere

2008-01-28T10:20:00.000-06:00

There are a few things I want to say to you. First of all, you're awesome. Thank you for existing. Life would suck if it were just us guys running around.

Second, I'm sorry. I know I've mistreated you and called you names and manipulated you. I've thought about you in ways I shouldn't have, and it disgusts me. I've been clingy, and needy, and selfish, and rude. And I'm sorry for that.

All I've ever wanted is find that one of you who is specially made for me. You know who I'm talking about. She's dying to love me unconditionally even though I'm a complete moron, and I am literally dying to lay my life down for her. I know it doesn't make sense to the rest of you... but just look at her, girls! Can't you see she's lonely? I mean, I'm sure you all make wonderful friends, but she wants to be with me. And I want to be with her.

I know you don't think I'm ready. The truth is, I'm not. I blow it all the time. I mess up. I struggle with things. And even though I'm trying to be the kind of man who can honor and protect her, the kind of guy who will cherish her and provide for her and fight for her - I'm far from it. But I'm trying.

Please, let her go. All I want is to be next to her. You've kept her hidden away for so long... all my life, in fact. I've only ever had glimpses of her in some of your faces, or in books I've read, or movies I've seen. I'm not blaming you for keeping her such a secret - I'm glad she's had this time to grow into a beautiful, unique, spirited and passionate woman. But please, I just want to meet her! I mean, don't you think it's time? Sure, I might not be ready to handle some of the surprises she'll throw my way. And yeah, maybe she's done some stuff that neither of us are proud of. But I'm not exactly Mr. Clean! I only hope she can forgive me. I've already forgiven her.

And baggage? So what about baggage! I don't care. We can deal with it together. Family? Why would her family scare me? Her dad could be awesome, or he could be a total lunatic. I still want to be with her. Her mom could be amazing and graceful, or she could be psychotic. It doesn't scare me. What if she's barren? I don't care, we can adopt. And even if she has already has a child of her own, why would I be scared away? Children are beautiful and amazing, and you know I had wanted to have a family of my own by now.

No matter, what, NO MATTER WHAT, I want to be with her, and no crazy fathers or lunatic mothers or insane past histories or anything else is going to change that. So please, PLEASE, bring her out of hiding. I'll keep waiting if I have to, and every day I wait I'll try to be a better man than the day before. But ladies, PLEASE, give her up. I promise you, cross my heart and hope to die, that I will do everything within my power to take care of her forever. Only please don't make us wait any longer. Let me meet her.

Sincerely,
David

Painting Progress

2008-01-28T10:18:00.000-06:00

Ted got the picture and is working on a color comp. Should probably have it in about two weeks. If that looks good, I'll have the finished product sometime in April.

TEST

2008-01-28T09:27:00.000-06:00

This is a test to see if I can write a blog post from my iPhone. Looks like its no problem!

Gee, I don't know, man, that painting is really freaking me out.

2008-01-27T22:15:00.000-06:00

Prince Vigo, from Ghostbusters II.

(This is a reproduction. I couldn't find a good picture of the original.)

The New Mona Lisa

2008-01-27T11:40:00.000-06:00

After long, hard, excruciating deliberation, I finally picked a face for my painting. Obviously it's the one you see pictured here, which is F.

Let me explain this through process of elimination. Face A was too constipated. C was nice, but at a weird angle, and too happy to be leading a charge. D was too nasal - it made me think I was going, "Eeeeeeeh," instead of, "CHAAAAAAARGE!"

Face E was too... something, I dunno, kind of like, "Heh heh heh, I have you now!" And face I was too uncertain, kind of like I was spying on something off in the distance. Face J was hilarious but whithery, and L was just not doing it for me or anyone else. So that narrowed things down to faces B, F, G, and H.

I deliberated between those faces for days and I took all of your comments very seriously. It was really hard making a decision! But then I thought, "Hmm, I've been thinking of how these faces are going to look in context of the rest of the painting. But what do I want my face to communicate to the viewer?"

I realized that when people see this thing for the first time, they're going to go, "Woah, awesome painting! That's crazy! Hey... hey, is that YOU?!?"

And at that moment, when they look into my painted face and realize that it's me, I want to have this expression that's like, "Yeah, that's right."

So I nixed B, G, and H because I wasn't looking into the camera. And then I went back and took 40 more pictures of me all staring into the camera, but none of them turned out better than F. So F it is.

Is he smiling?? Or is he grimacing?! What is he thinking behind those maniacal eyes? Who knows?? MWUAHAHAHAHA!!!

This blog is now officially vain.

2008-01-23T22:31:00.001-06:00

But I have an excuse!

If you haven't been keeping up, I'm having an absurd painting of myself done for comic value. It's going to be ridiculous. CLICK HERE to read a post where I talk about it in more detail.

Anyway, it's time for me to send the artist a picture of my face to work into the painting, but I'm having trouble deciding what to go with. Should I go super serious? Would that make it more funny? Or should I go the other way and make it obviously cheesy? These two movie posters come to mind...

Anyway, if you make the picture larger, you can see on one side it's flipped, and on the other it's normal. Actually, I took these photos into a mirror, so the pictures on the right are what I really look like, and the pictures on the left are backwards. But since the painting makes more sense compositionally if I'm on the left side, and since I want my hair part to be towards the camera, I'm going to have to flip my face for the painting. By the way, I originally put K in because I thought I kind of looked like Guy Pearce in it, but now I think it just looks snotty and rude, so I nixed it. And I put in pictures A and J because I think they is stinking hilarious :)

So which one do you think I should go with?

The Warhorse and His Boy

2008-01-23T14:26:00.000-06:00

Thanks for your opinions, guys! You bust me up. Every comment on the choice between A, B, and C had me laughing my head off! So in response to your response, here's what I decided to go with:

Basically, it's going to be a chimera of A, B, and C. I sent off some very detailed comments to the artist, and I'm sending him mug shots today. The next drawing should be more detailed and more along the lines of the final painting.

I'm going with a low camera angle, with the horse perched on a ledge overlooking a massive battle that is raging both near and far. The horse will look like it's about to leap off the cliff and into battle. The pose will be open armed, with the far hand holding the reigns, and the near hand holding a sword above my head. The horse and I will not be looking into the viewer's eyes, but will instead be looking off canvas towards the battle, and we will both have absurdly heroic facial expressions going on. The horse may in fact be breathing fire. We're also going with more of an American Revolutionary War feel as opposed to a Civil War feel. There will be huge, epic stormy clouds in the background, with beams of light breaking through. The rider will be on the left hand side of the painting.

There are also a few more surprises we've decided to add into the painting, but I'm not going to ruin them for you. You'll just have to wait and see!

Warbreaker

2008-01-22T21:58:00.000-06:00

Brandon Sanderson, one of my favorite fantasy writers, has a new book that he has made available to download online exclusively from his website. This is pretty cool, guys. You get to read the book before it's even published! Yeah it's a pain to read a book online, but I read the first few chapters, and it's awesome. So here's the link, and if you're into it, go check it out!

CLICK HERE FOR WARBREAKER